Çæ¸®¿ìµå ¿µÈ­ÀÇ ¹ýÄ¢ - Computer Æí [52]

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2004-11-15 17:37:48
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nogary
https://humoruniv.com/pds133021 URL º¹»ç

You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ·Î ±ä ¹®ÀåÀ» Ä¥ ¶§¿¡µµ Àý´ë·Î ½ºÆäÀ̽º¹Ù´Â »ç¿ëÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.

▫ Movie character never make typing mistakes.
¿µÈ­¼ÓÀÇ Àι°Àº Àý´ë·Î ¿ÀŸ¸¦ Ä¡Áö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.

▫ High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
NASA³ª CIA ȤÀº Á¤ºÎ ±â°ü °°Àº °÷¿¡¼­ »ç¿ëÇÏ´Â ÃÖ÷´Ü ÄÄÇ»ÅͶó ÇÏ´õ¶óµµ ´©±¸³ª ÇÑ ´«¿¡ ½±°Ô ÀÌÇØÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ±×·¡ÇÈ ÀÎÅÍÆäÀ̽º¸¦ °¡Áö°í ÀÖ´Ù.

▫ Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard
Űº¸µå·Î ´Ü¼øÈ÷ ¡°¸ðµç ºñ¹Ð ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ Á¢±Ù¡± À̶ó°í Ä¡±â¸¸ ÇÏ¸é ¾î¶² Á¾·ùÀÇ Á¤º¸¶ó µµ ´Ù ¾òÀ» ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.


▫ Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS"
¸¶Âù°¡Áö·Î ´ÜÁö ¡°¹ÙÀÌ·¯½º ÁÖÀÔ¡±À̶ó°í Ä¡±â¸¸ Çϸé Ä¡¸íÀûÀÎ ¹ÙÀÌ·¯½º¸¦ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ ¿¡ °¨¿°½Ãų ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.

▫ All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
¸ðµç ÄÄÇ»ÅͰ¡ ´Ù ¿¬°áµÇ¾î Àֱ⠶§¹®¿¡ ¾Ç´çÀÇ µ¥½ºÅ©Åé ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ¿¡ ¾É¾Æ¼­ ÇÊ¿äÇÑ ¸ðµç Á¤º¸¸¦ ¾òÀ» ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù. ½ÉÁö¾î »ó´ë ÄÄÇ»ÅͰ¡ Àü¿øÀÌ ²¨Á® À־ °¡´ÉÇÏ´Ù.

▫ Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes.
The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.
°í¼º´É ÄÄÇ»ÅÍÀÓ¿¡µµ ºÒ±¸Çϰí Űº¸µå¸¦ ´©¸£°Å³ª ½ºÅ©¸°ÀÌ ¹Ù²ð¶§¸é »ß ¼Ò¸®°¡ ³­´Ù.
¶ÇÇÑ ÃÖ÷´Ü ÄÄÇ»ÅÍÀε¥ ÇÁ¸°Æ®ÇÒ¶§´Â ÂïÂï´ë´Â µµÆ®ÇÁ¸°ÅÍ ¼Ò¸®°¡ ³­´Ù.


▫ A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world eating hamburger or sandwich and surely guess the secret password in three tries after two wrong guesses.
¿µÈ­¼ÓÀÇ ÇØÄ¿´Â ¼¼°è¿¡¼­ °¡Àå º¸¾ÈÀÌ Ã¶ÀúÇÑ ÄÄÇ»ÅͶó ÇÏ´õ¶óµµ Çܹö°Å³ª »÷µåÀ§Ä¡¸¦ ¸ÔÀ¸¸é¼­ ½±°Ô ħÅõÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù. ¶ÇÇÑ ¾ÏÈ£¸¦ ÀÔ·ÂÇ϶ó´Â ³»¿ëÀÌ ³ª¿À¸é ¹Ýµå½Ã µÎ ¹øÀº ²À Ʋ¸° ÈÄ¿¡ ¼¼¹øÂ° ½Ãµµ¿¡¼­ ¾ÏÈ£¸¦ ã¾Æ³½´Ù.


▫ Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function
¡°Á¢¼Ó °ÅºÎ¡± ¶ó´Â ±ÛÀÚ°¡ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ¿¡ ³ª¿À¸é ÀÌÁ¦ Àá½ÃÈÄ¿¡ Á¢¼ÓµÈ´Ù´Â »ç½ÇÀ» À¯Ãß ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.


▫ Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, active animation, photo-realistic graphics capability.
¿µÈ­¼ÓÀÇ ´ëºÎºÐÀÇ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ´Â £¨¾Æ¹«¸® ÀÛÀº ÄÄÇ»ÅͶó ÇÏ´õ¶óµµ£© °¡»óÇö½Ç 3-D, ¾×Ƽºê ¾Ö´Ï¸ÞÀ̼Ç, ½Ç»ç ±×·¡ÇÈ »ç¾çÀ» °®Ãß°í ÀÖ´Ù.

▫ Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer.
¿µÈ­¼Ó¿¡ ³ª¿À´Â ³ëÆ®ºÏÄÄÇ»ÅÍ´Â ³î¶ó¿î ¼º´ÉÀÇ ½Ç½Ã°£ ºñµð¿À Æù ±â´ÉÀ» °®Ãß°í ÀÖÀ¸¸ç CRAY ¼öÆÛÄÄÇ»ÅÍ¿Í °°Àº 󸮼ӵµ¸¦ Áö´Ï°í ÀÖ´Ù.

▫When a good guy is looking at an image on the computer, he/she immediately spots an unobvious obscure character and says, Wait! Who's that? Zoom in on him.
Then a a box is drawn around the bad guy's head, and that little square magically turns from low quality into extremely high quality. After that, the good guy exclaims, That's ____! He works for ____!, and the group quickly leaves.
ÁÖÀΰøÀÌ ÄÄÇ»Å͸¦ ÅëÇØ »çÁøÀ» °Ë»öÇÏ´Â µµÁß, ¸ð¼­¸® ±¸¼®¿¡ ÀÖ´Â ÇÑ È帴ÇÑ Àι°À» º¸°Ô µÇ¸é ±×´Â ²À ¿ÜÄ£´Ù. ¡°Àá±ñ¸¸ ÀÌ »ç¶÷ÀÌ ´©±¸Áö? È®´ëÇØºÁ.¡± ±×·³ ¹Ú½º Çϳª°¡ ±× ³ª»Û ³ðÀÇ ¾ó±¼À§¿¡ ¿À°Ô µÇ°í ±× ÀÛÀº »çÁøÀº ³·Àº ÇØ»óµµÀÇ Èñ¹ÌÇÑ ¾ó±¼¿¡¼­ ±âÀûÀûÀ¸·Î ÃʰíÇØ»óµµÀÇ ¶Ñ·ÇÇÑ ¾ó±¼·Î È®´ëµÇ¾î º¸¿©Áö°Ô µÈ´Ù. ±× ÈÄ¿¡ ÁÖÀΰøÀº ¼Ò¸®Ä£´Ù.
¡°ÀÌ ÀÚ´Â ~¿¡¼­ ÀÏÇÏ´ø ³ðÀ̾ß..¡± ±×¸®°í ±× ÆÀÀº ¸ðµÎ À绡¸® ±× °÷À» ¶°³­´Ù.

▫A mo use is never used and never seen. The hero can get into any program by frantically typing on the keyboard. The hero must know all the shortcuts programmed into a computer he/she has never used before.
¸¶¿ì½º´Â Àý´ë·Î »ç¿ëµÇÁö ¾ÊÀ¸¸ç ½ÉÁö¾î º¸ÀÌÁöµµ ¾Ê´Â´Ù. ÁÖÀΰøÀº Űº¸µå¸¸ ¿­³ª°Ô Ä¡¸é ¾î¶² ÇÁ·Î±×·¥µµ ´Ù ¿­ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù. ÁÖÀΰøÀº ¸ðµç ´ÜÃà۸¦ ´Ù ¾Ë°í ÀÖÀ½¿¡ Ʋ¸²¾ø´Ù.

▫computer transfering a file too slowly? simply repeat the words 'come on, come on' in an anxious voice, & the giant blue doanloading bar will finish.
¸¸ÀÏ ÄÄÇ»ÅͰ¡ ÆÄÀÏÀ» ³Ê¹« õõÈ÷ Àü¼ÛÇÑ´Ù¸é °£ÀýÇÑ ¸ñ¼Ò¸®·Î¡®come on, come on' À̶ó°í¸¸ ¹Ýº¹Ç϶ó. ±×·¯¸é °ð Àü¼ÛÀÌ ³¡³­´Ù.

▫Any satellite or other surveillance photo equiptment will be able to mysteriously add pixels until a given image is sharpened enough to discover the identity of the villian£¨ess£©. Usually this is done by a glasses-wearing technician by a single keystroke after being asked Can you sharpen this up a little bit? by the hero. The hero will never ask why didn't you show me the sharpened version of the image first instead of making me ask for it? It only took one keystroke,
for god's sake.

ÀΰøÀ§¼ºÀ̳ª ±× ¹ÛÀÇ °Ë»ö Àåºñ´Â ¶¥À§¿¡¼­ ÂïÈù ¾Ç´çÀÇ ¸ð½ÀÀ» ¶È¶ÈÈ÷ ½Äº°ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖÀ» ¶§±îÁö È­¸éÇȼ¿À» Áõ°¡½ÃŰ´Â ½Åºñ·Î¿î ÀåÄ¡¸¦ °¡Áö°í ÀÖ´Ù. ÀϹÝÀûÀ¸·Î ÀÌ·¯ÇÑ ÀÛ¾÷Àº ¾È°æÀ» ³¤ ÇÑ ±â¼úÀÚ¿¡ ÀÇÇØ¼­ ÇàÇØÁö´Âµ¥, ÁÖÀΰøÀÌ ¡°ÀÌ°Í Á¶±Ý¸¸ ´õ ¼±¸íÇÏ°Ô ÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø¾î¿ä?¡±¶ó°í ¿äûÇÏ¸é ±× ¾È°æ³¤ ±â¼úÀÚ°¡ Űº¸µå¸¦ Çѹø¸¸ µÎµå·Á ÁÖ¸é µÈ´Ù.
±×´Â ÁÖÀΰøÀÌ ¿äûÇϱâ Àü¿¡´Â Àý´ë·Î ¸ÕÀú ¼±¸íÇÑ È­¸éÀ» Á¦°øÇØ ÁÖÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù. ¿Ö ±×·±Áö´Â ¾Ë ¼ö ¾ø´Ù.

▫every little boy can hack any top secret database he wants without turning on the computer or conecting into the net
¸ðµç ²¿¸¶µéÀº ÀÚ½ÅÀÌ ¿øÇÏ´Â ¸ðµç ±Øºñ »çÇ×À» ÇØÅ·ÇÒ ´É·ÂÀ» °¡Áö°í ÀÖ´Ù. ½ÉÁö¾î ÄÄÇ»ÅͰ¡ ²¨Áø »óÅ¿¡¼­ ÀÎÅͳݿ¡ ¿¬°áÇÏÁöµµ ¾ÊÀº ä·Îµµ ÇØÅ·ÀÌ °¡´ÉÇÑ Á¸ÀçµéÀÌ ¹Ù·Î ²¿¸¶µéÀÌ´Ù.

▫If you are a computer whiz, than you type while saying the words at the exact same time you're typing it while online, like I - am - fine, how - are - you - today? - Let's - play - a - game I don't know whether they need a speach class or a typing class.

¸¸ÀÏ ´ç½ÅÀÌ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ Àü¹®°¡¶ó¸é Űº¸µå¸¦ ŸÀÌÇÎÇϸ鼭 ²À ÀÔÀ¸·Î ¶È °°Àº ´Ü¾î¸¦ Áß¾ó°Å¸°´Ù. ¿¹¸¦ µé¾î¼­ ¡°³ª´Â- Áö±Ý- ¾ÆÁÖ- ÁÁ¾Æ.- ³Ê´Â- ¿À´Ã- ¾î¶§?¡± Çϸ鼭 ÀÔÀ¸·Î ²À ŸÀÌÇÎÇÏ´Â ±ÛÀÚ¸¦ µû¶óÇϴµ¥ ¿Ö ±×·²±î?
ÄÄÇ»Å͸¦ ¹è¿ì±â À§Çؼ­´Â ¿¬¼³ ¼ö¾÷ÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇÑÁö ŸÀÌÇÎ ¼ö¾÷ÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇÑÁö Çì±ò¸°´Ù.

▫Destroying a monitor either by throwing it, or discharging fire arms into the tube, will destroy all of the data on the computer thus ridding the evidence.
¿µÈ­¼ÓÀÇ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ´Â Çϵåµð½ºÅ©°¡ ¸ð´ÏÅÍ¿¡ ³»ÀåµÇ¾î ÀÖ´Ù. ÄÄÇ»ÅÍÀÇ ±Øºñ »çÇ×À» ¾ø¾Ù¶§¿¡´Â ²À ¸ð´ÏÅ͸¦ ´øÁö°Å³ª ¸ð´ÏÅÍ¿¡ ÃÑÀ» °¥±ä´Ù. ±×·³ °¨Âʰ°ÀÌ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍÀÇ µ¥ÀÌÅ͵µ Áö¿öÁø´Ù.

▫Passwords are always simple words which are related on the file. For example hacker wants to open file which contains info about chemical weapon and the password is poison.
¾ÏÈ£µéÀº ¾ðÁ¦³ª ±× ÆÄÀϰú °ü·ÃÀÌ µÇ´Â ´Ü¼øÇÑ ´Ü¾î·Î ±¸¼ºµÇ¾î ÀÖ´Ù.
¿¹¸¦ µé¾î¼­ ÇØÄ¿°¡ È­Çй«±â¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Á¤º¸¸¦ ´ã°í ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏÀ» ¿­¶§ ã¾Æ³½ ¾ÏÈ£´Â ¡°poison" ÀÌ´Ù.

▫Any large amounts of data or complete contents of a laptop, can be saved on an ordinary 3 1/2 inch floppy disk
¾Æ¹«¸® Å« ¾çÀÇ µ¥ÀÌÅͶó ÇØµµ 3.5ÀÎÄ¡ Ç÷ÎÇÇ µð½ºÄÏ¿¡ ´Ù ÀúÀåµÉ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.

▫and howcome laptop computers are always on for several hours, with a user constantly typing on it and the battery never runs empty?
¿µÈ­¿¡ ³ª¿À´Â ³ëÆ®ºÏ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ´Â ¸î½Ã°£À» »ç¿ëÇØµµ Àý´ë·Î ¹èÅ͸®°¡ ¶³¾îÁöÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.

▫teenage hackers always keep their hair long, & ride a skateborad/rollerblades.
sometimes these super cool kids keep a walkie-talkie connection with their best friends.
10´ë ÇØÄ¿µéÀº Ç×»ó ±ä ¸Ó¸®¸¦ °¡Áö°í ÀÖÀ¸¸ç ½ºÄÉÀÌÆ® º¸µå³ª ÀζóÀÎÀ» Ÿ°í ´Ù´Ñ´Ù.
¶§¶§·Î ÀÌ ÇØÄ¿µéÀº ¿öŰÅä۸¦ ÅëÇØ Ä£±¸µé°ú ÅëÈ­ÇÑ´Ù.

▫Any website visited has NO adverts flashing away.
¿µÈ­¿¡ ³ª¿À´Â ¾î¶² À¥»çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼­µµ ±¤°íâÀÌ ¶ßÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.

▫Windows works ! Wot, no Blue Screen of Death ?
À©µµ¿ì·Î ÀÛ¾÷ÇØµµ Àý´ë·Î ºí·ç½ºÅ©¸°ÀÌ ¶ß°Å³ª ´Ù¿îµÇÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.

▫If a supercomputer is made too powerful, it will eventually become self-conscious and want to destroy all life in the universe.
¸¸ÀÏ ½´ÆÛÄÄÇ»ÅͰ¡ ³Ê¹« °­·ÂÇÏ°Ô ¸¸µé¾îÁ³´Ù¸é, °ð ±× ½´ÆÛÄÄÀº ÀھƸ¦ ÀνÄÇÏ°Ô µÇ°í ¸ðµç Àΰ£À» ¸êÁ¾½ÃŰ·Á ÇÒ °ÍÀÌ´Ù.

▫E-mails are addressed to the character's name, not to any speciifc e-mail address..and yet they somehow miraculously get there!
ÁÖÀΰø¿¡°Ô´Â ¾î¶² ±âÀûÀûÀÎ ¹æ¹ýÀ» ÅëÇØ¼­¶óµµ ¹Ýµå½Ã e-mailÀÌ Àü´ÞµÈ´Ù.


▫Hackers can get into any system, no matter how difficult it's supposed to be.
Usually they look at the screen and smirk, then type a few keys, then mutter some insulting comment £¨Better luck next time, slugheads!£©. They never get caught unless betrayed by a friend.

ÇØÄ¿µéÀº ¾Æ¹«¸® ¾î·Á¿î ü°è·Î µÇ¾î ÀÖ´Â ±× ¾î¶² ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ ½Ã½ºÅÛ¿¡µµ µé¾î°¥ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.
ÇØÄ¿µéÀº º¸Åë ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ ¸ð´ÏÅ͸¦ º¸¸ç ½Ç½Ç Âɰµ´Ù. ±×¸®°í ¸î ¹ø ŸÀÌÇÎÇϸ鼭 ÀúÁú½º·± ¸»À» Áß¾ó°Å¸°´Ù.
£¨¿¹: ±×·¸°ÔÇÏ¸é ³»°¡ ¼·¼·ÇÏÁö. ±×·¸Áö? ¸ÛûÀÌµé °°À¸´Ï...ÈÄÈÄ£©
±×µéÀº µ¿·á¿¡°Ô ¹è½Å´çÇϱâ Àü±îÁö´Â Àý´ë·Î ÀâÈ÷Áö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.

▫The monitor acts as a projector, so you can see in a person's face, what he's doing on the computer, literaly.
ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ ¸ð´ÏÅÍ´Â ÇÁ·ÎÁ§Æ®¿Í °°Àº ±â´ÉÀ» °¡Áö°í ÀÖ´Ù. ±×·¡¼­ ÄÄÇ»ÅÍ Ä¡´Â »ç¶÷ÀÇ ¾ó±¼À» º¸¸é ¸ð´ÏÅÍ¿¡ ³ª¿À´Â ³»¿ëµéÀÌ ¹Ý»çµÇ¾î ºñÄ£´Ù.

▫The hero ALWAYS finds the relevant information on the internet right away, and NEVER has to use a search engine.
ÁÖÀΰøÀº ¾ðÁ¦³ª ÇÊ¿äÇÑ Á¤º¸¸¦ ÀÎÅͳݿ¡¼­ Áï½Ã ã¾Æ³»¸ç Àý´ë·Î °Ë»ö¿£ÁøÀ» »ç¿ëÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.

▫Government's biggest secrets are behind a simple password.
Á¤ºÎÀÇ ÃÖ°íÀÇ ºñ¹ÐÀº ´Ü¼øÇÑ ¾ÏÈ£¸¸ ¾Ë¸é µé¾î°¥ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.

▫Genius kids can break unbreakable code in their head.
¿µÈ­¼ÓÀÇ ¾ÆÀ̵éÀº ±× ¾î¶² ¾ÏÈ£µµ ´Ù ±ý ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.

▫hacking usually means guessing a password
¿µÈ­¼Ó¿¡ ³ª¿À´Â ÇØÅ·À̶õ °á±¹ ¾ÏÈ£¸¦ ÃßÃøÇÏ´Â ÀÛ¾÷À» ¸»ÇÑ´Ù.

▫everything can be found on the internet, from newspapers that date back 50 years to blueprints of any building in town to anybody's personal records
ÀÎÅͳݿ¡´Â ¸ðµç Á¤º¸°¡ ´Ù µé¾îÀÖ´Ù. ½ÉÁö¾î 50³âÀü¿¡ Áö¾îÁø °Ç¹°ÀÇ ¼³°èµµ´Â ¹°·Ð, ÇÑ ÀÛÀº ¸¶À»¿¡¼­ »ì´ø »ç¶÷ÀÇ °³ÀÎ ±â·Ï±îÁö ´Ù ãÀ» ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù.


▫If the hero listens to his answering machine and one important message is unexpected then he usually has two very short messages on the tape before, one spoken by a man, one by a women. "Here'a John! I see you tomorrow at eight.".... beep ... "This is Sallieeeeee! I'll call again later." ... beep .... and then finally "Ahhhh! The killer is .....". If however the message is expected be sure that it will be the first one on the tape.

ÁÖÀΰøÀÌ ÀüÈ­ÀÇ ÀÚµ¿ÀÀ´ä±â¸¦ ¹«½ÉÄÚ£¨º° ±â´ë¾øÀÌ£© µéÀ»¶§¸é ¹Ýµå½Ã Áß¿äÇÑ ¸Þ½ÃÁö°¡ Æ¢¾î³ª¿À´Âµ¥, ±× ¾Õ¿¡´Â ²À ¸Å¿ì ªÀº µÎ°³ÀÇ ¸Þ½ÃÁö°¡ ³ìÀ½µÇ¾î ÀÖ´Ù. Çϳª´Â ³²ÀÚ¿¡°Ô ¿Â ¸Þ½ÃÁö°í Çϳª´Â ¿©ÀÚ¿¡°Ô ¿Â ¸Þ½ÃÁöÀε¥ ÁÖ·Î ³»¿ëÀÌ ´ÙÀ½°ú °°´Ù.

¡°³ª Á¸À̾ß. ³»ÀϹ㠿©´ü½Ã¿¡ º¸ÀÚ.¡± »ß... ¡° ³ª »ø¸®¾ß.. ³ªÁß¿¡ °É²²..¡±
»ß... ±×¸®°í µåµð¾î ¡°À¸.. ¹üÀÎÀº ¹Ù·Î.....¡±ÇÏ´Â ¸Þ½ÃÁö°¡ ³ª¿Â´Ù.
±×·¯³ª, ¸¸ÀÏ ÁÖÀΰøÀÌ ¹«¾ð°¡ Áß¿äÇÑ ¸Þ½ÃÁö°¡ ÀÖÀ» °ÍÀ¸·Î È®½ÅÇϰí Å×ÀÌÇÁ¸¦ µéÀ» ¶§¸é ÁÖ·Î ¸Ç óÀ½¿¡ ±× ¸Þ½ÃÁö°¡ ³ìÀ½µÇ¾î ÀÖ´Ù.


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